Mzanzi in the Movies (1916 -2015): 99 years of Features Filmed in South Africa

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24 April 2015 –  The South African release date for Avengers: Age of Ultron, another epic superhero blockbuster delivering a wantonly destructive romp through numerous international destinations, this time including downtown Johannesburg.  The latest Iron Man and company outing includes a 20 minute scene featuring (yet another) gratingly accented South African – Hollywood rarely seems able to get it right – and a shocking disregard for private property in the Joburg CBD, the owners of which are certainly kicking themselves for not staying up to date on their “collateral damage resultant from an over-exuberant altercation between hulking green beast with surprisingly elastic purple pants and 3 meter tall metal-machine-man” insurance payments. The inevitable carnage was filmed over a period of 3 weeks in Egoli, thereby adding A:AoU to the lengthy list of feature length films that were shot, at least partially, on location in South Africa.

According to the Internet Movie DataBase (IMDB) Age of Ultron is the 709^th feature film released that sports our beautiful bundu’s as backdrop*. Although South Africa has a history with the bioscope that dates back to 1895, the very first movies shot on location in SA were De Voortrekkers and a Zulu’s devotion, and both these films were only released in 1916 by the newly established African Film Productions, thus marking 2016 as a celebratory occasion for a century of Mzanzi in the movies.

Besides the numerous international movies that would merely exploit our wonderful weather, beautiful backdrops and low-priced labour, South Africa’s own movie making history is filled with cinematic classics such as King Solomon’s Mines (1937), Cry, The Beloved Country (1951), Zulu (1964), Boesman En Lena (1973), The Gods Must Be Crazy (1980), Jock Of The Bushveld (1986), and Oh Schuck’s… it’s Schuster (1989). The contemporary post-apartheid film industry would also deliver a bevy of cult hits including Lipstick Dipstick (1994), Paljas (1998), Stander (2003), U-Carmen eKhayelitsha (2005), Tsotsi (2005), Bakgat (2008), District 9 (2009) and of course Neill Blomkamp’s latest hour and half long misjudged marketing vehicle for Die Antwoord – Chappie (2015).

Of all the movies that were at least partially shot on our shimmering shores, the top three are, according to user ratings from IMDB,  the new Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)(9.2/10), the latest darling in the revival of Afrikaans cinema, Ballade Vir n Enkeling (2015)(8.8/10), and tied for third place are the equally obscure (at least to me) but intriguingly named The Angel, The Bicycle And The Chinaman’s Finger (1992)(8.3/10) and Dr. Kalie (1968)(8.3/10).

Of course no movie history is complete without a few duds, and where Hollywood tries its best to deny the existence of Battlefield Earth and Gigli, so too are there a few movies captured on film in SA that are best relegated to the very back of the collective human consciousness . The first of these is the forgettable Space Mutiny (1988)(2/10), the worst part of an already terrible 4 Sci-Fi film Collectors Set quartet, that according to reviewers is an  “hilariously bad sci-fi epic that’s guaranteed to have you in stitches”, not surprising as one of the most memorable lines in the movie is the trite, yet strangely chuckle inducing, “Take that, you space bitch!”. Secondly we have the Outlaw of Gor (1988)(1.9/10), affectionately referred to by absolutely no one as Gor II. The lack of any kind of attention to detail or nuance in producing this title is evident not only in the description of the movie, “[a]n Earthman returns to the planet Gor, and fights against tyranny”, but also in the fact that the main character’s name “Cabot” is spoken more than 55 times in the first 10 minutes of the movie. The final movie, the title that holds the distinctive honour of being the worst movie ever to showcase South African scenery, is Chatur Singh Two Star (2011)(1.7/10). As much as I would attempt wit in describing this Bollywood abomination, I have to acknowledge, as any respectable author should, when I have already been bested by another. One that is able to so succinctly express, in no more than 34 words, the  emotions that this movie evokes that any additional words would be entirely superfluous. For this I respectfully concede to the following review of Chatur Singh Two Star by IMDB user Vivart Pandey: “I have no doubt about comic talent in sanjay dutt. but I can say that these have no clues about what is comedy movie. Don’t see this movie there is nothing in this movie”. ….brilliant.

So remember that 2016 marks a century of South Africa in the cinema and some the most memorable, and the most terrible, movies to ever grace our silver screens. Go revisit an old SA classic or, if you feel charitable, go rent Chatur Singh Two Star and effectively double the income that the producers of that disgrace will ever receive.

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*I know it says 732, but 23 of those films have not yet been released.

Cecil John Rhodes and SA’s 1%ers

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Cecil John Rhodes – businessman, mining magnate, politician, colonialist and subject of transformative debate. Also, not surprisingly, one very rich South African.

In 1907, five years following a fatal heart-attack at his Muizenberg home, the British-born Rhodes’ estate would eventually be valued at an impressive £3,345,000, a figure that even today would leave a twinkle in any SARS representative’s eye . Take into account a hundred years of inflation, however, and the contemporary value of Rhodes’ fortune rapidly inflates to a statue toppling £307 million, or R5.5 billion* at the current exchange rate. Although not quite enough to secure the colonial fat cat the distinguished honour of being the country’s richest person it is enough to ensure a respectable 19^th spot on the SA richest list – just behind Raymond Ackerman, best known for being the only billionaire ever to have been fired by Checkers.

“Cecil John Rhodes’ fortune would have been worth R5.5 billion in 2015”

Rhodes’ R5.5 billion would have been enough to treat every one of 53 million South Africans to a whole, deliciously prepared, chicken from Nandos – a considerable purchase when taking into account that 10.7 million people are currently living under the food poverty line of R11 a day and are barely able to afford even a daily dipping sauce (R10.90) from the providers of periperi poultry. It is this massive gulf between the tiny club of wealthy few and the destitute masses that has earned the South Africa story the tragic sub-title of the most unequal country in the world in terms of income distribution.

In 2012, American resentment regarding unequal income distribution popularised the term onepercenter –  a derogatory title reserved for the richest percentile of Americans. The extraordinary wealth of the onepercenters were exposed to illustrate the massive imbalance between the top earners and the rest, the 99%, whose earnings were minute in comparison. In the states, the average annual income of the top 1 percent was R8.6 million* in 2012. The interesting question is: how many millions of Rands do the top 1% of South Africans earn per year?  The disappointing answer is: none. At least not to qualify as the top 1%.

In South Africa, according to data on monthly earnings from STATSSA (adjusted for inflation), one  need only earn R24 390 per month* (R292 680 per year) in 2015 to qualify as being in the top one percent of all South Africans in terms of monthly income (more accurately 1,3% – the nature of the data made it difficult to identify a value closer to 1%). Naturally most earners in the fields of engineering, financial services, and Information Technology are able to surpass this 1,3% income threshold quite comfortably, even at the junior level, according to available data, but it is interesting to note that also a skilled senior artisan and/or draughtsman could eventually break the prestigious R25 000p/m salary barrier  needed to join the earning elite.

“If you earn more than R25 000 per month in 2015 then you earn more than 98.7% of South Africa”

To illustrate the relatively small size of this 1% group, imagine that these top 647 550 fortunate individuals, all earning in excess of R24 390 p/m, could comfortably be seated in as few as 7 Soccer City stadiums –  presumably watching Bafana nearly win 7 excruciating times. If one of them were to emigrate every second then it would only take about a week for the current group of onepercenters to bolster the ranks of the lower middle class in Australia, earning less than an 21 year old employee at Mcdonalds*.

“Every South African earning more than R24 390 per month in 2015 could be comfortably seated in 7 Soccer City stadiums”

So if you are lucky enough to be earning R24 390 or more per month in SA then remember that you are part of the income earning elite, and that statistically for every 100 people that you walk or drive past on your daily commute to your fancy high-paying job, only one of those will earn more than you.

 

 

 

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* Data Calculations

Rhode’s R5.5 billion – Being nearly impossible to any reliable information on South African inflation data before 1960 there is thankfully a very good website that is able to calculate the effect of inflation all the way back to the 1205. Although limited to British pounds, thankfully so was Rhode’s early fortunate. The result of that calculation was the multiplied by the current exchange rate of R18.07 / 1 GBP (22 April 2015) resulting in the R5.5 billion figure.

American average income of 1%ers of R8.6 million  – Simply take the $717,000 presented in this Forbes article and mulitply by the current exchange rate of R12.27/$1 (22 April 2015).

1,3% threshold for South African income earners at R24 390 – This article from STATSSA states that in 2012 your needed no more than R18 900 to qualify as the top 5% of 12 951 000 income earners in South Africa. That top 5% translates to 647 550 people (12 951 000 * 5%). Those 647 550 are actually only 1,3% of the whole South African population (53 million). Therefore in 2012 one needed only R18 900 to qualify as the top 1,3% of ALL South Africans in terms of money earned per month. Using this handy inflation calculator we can change the R18 900 to the R24 690 used in the article, adjusted for inflation from 2012 to 2015.

Monthly wage of a 21 year old Australian Mcdonalds employee – This article states that Mcdonalds Australia has signed an agreement to pay an employee older than 21 years an average monthly salary of $2781.64. Converted to Rands at the current exchange rate of R9.5/$1Aus (22 April 2015) equals R26421.51 per month.